toilet training & learning

Potty Learning / Potty Training part II

by abbyslanehype

Now, if you thought our advice on day training was very “sit back and see where they go”, nighttime doesn’t get better. For my own children, it is really a matter of waiting until after they are day trained and wake up dry for a good two weeks straight before we try underwear at night.

If your child has been day trained for a few months and still has nighttime wetting, try something to see where they are. Lay a natural fiber inside the diaper, so it provides a wetness cue. It can be a hemp insert, a wipe, a prefold, anything that isn’t stay dry or microfiber. See how your child does, if she wakes up due to the wetness enough to call you and finish urinating on the toilet, you may have a case for a few trainers to provide a different feel than a diaper. If she pees through and doesn’t wake, she will leak out of the trainers, so don’t bother with them yet. If your child needs the absorbency of a diaper and doesn’t respond to wetness cues, they are likely to still need an actual diaper. Taking them to the potty before they go to bed will help, for some of our children (every years after they “trained”) when my husband and myself go to bed several hours after they do, we take them as well so they can sleep into the morning hours without having to wake up to wet sheets. If you notice your child is dry most of the night but wakes up with an accident in the early hours of the morning that may be a good option as well. So, if they go to bed at 7/8 pm, and you go to bed 11/midnight, take them to the toilet. For my 4 year old daughter if we don’t do this chances are pretty good she will wet around 3/4 am. If we take her at midnight she can sleep soundly until 7/8 am to wake up for the day.

I am not a fan of witholding fluids to encourage nighttime training.. The Happy Heiny trainers, which are very diaper-like in feel and absorbency (meaning you can stuff them as much as you need to for older toddlers) can go well into 50+ pounds, so you are covered for nighttime as long as your child needs it. It really is not unusual for us to see emails for children who are 5, 6 and older to need help at night. If you have ruled out any medical conditions that need attention, it is just a matter of those cues and when your child is ready to plug those cues into toilet readiness, and enough bladder control to last all night.

In the ironic twist of life, the reality is they may be helping us with our diapers if we are lucky enough to live so long!


Potty learning / potty training

by abbyslanehype

Last week we wrapped up nighttime diapering, so this week we are going to start with some potty training discussions! I am going to do a
‘rerun” of a past article from April of 2010 with a few notes changed around, so if it looks familiar it is being recycled 😉

Now, consider yourself warned, most of this is going to come from my experience training three kids and working on a fourth, working in day care
for a number of years, and chatting it up with customers frequently. I am not a psychologist, and I know everyone has their ideas of appropriate ages
and behaviors with training, so what I want to share is for you to take or leave at your liking~

This is going to take a few weeks to go through, but I want to dedicate time to the little guys on their way out of diapers. Whether they are 12
months, 18 months, 2, 3, 4 or 5, they are all on their way out of the diapers we love to put them in. I get lots of emails about “when?!?!?!?”
When do you know it is time? This is going to concentrate on children who are not challenged by physical or emotional hindrances, those children need
extra time and attention, and while I can help, you may need advice outside of my realm of experience.

I always knew my babies were ready to start when I noticed dryness in the diapers over periods of time. Whether they woke up from naptime dry, or I
went to change them around the hour mark and the diaper was not wet at all. Usually this starts at around a year to 18 months. Boys take longer in
general, they have much more neurological work that has to occur for them to make the connections for training. You truly can start “training” before
this. When they are old enough to walk and start following you everywhere, take them in the bathroom with you when you have to go. By this point it
certainly isn’t the oddest thing you have done as a parent (you mean I get to shower all by myself? What a treat! LOL), and it won’t be the last. Make
it a cheerful, happy thing. “Oh look, mommy/daddy goes pee pee, yeah!” They will see the bathroom as a cheerful place, a place to celebrate what you are doing. It really sets the mood for later. They also see liquid coming out of you as a good thing, and won’t be freaked out when they see it coming out of them in places they never knew existed before. I mean really, if you looked in the mirror and saw water pouring out of your ear, you would be a little weirded out, no?

Cool potty seats are fun, potties with their favorite characters are a plus, but they may not even need this. I found it helps though to have these things in the car. So, they see you going, they are intrigued, they want to do it. You are going to have thousands of “dry runs” before the real deal starts. A good time to actually put them on the potty? Before bathtime! The sounds of water rushing around always made mine want to go. Just a habit to start, just plop them on while getting the bath ready. If it is too much for them, no biggie, they aren’t ready yet. Even if they just sit there for a second and smile, you are training. Training isn’t the results, it is the process, so make it fun and take a deep breath. Another great time, first thing in the morning. Even if that diaper is full and you know they went all night, make it a part of your morning ritual. When they are sitting on the same place they see you go, and see what is supposed to happen, if they are ready they will start to follow suit.

They don’t like sitting, show no interest in being with you when it goes on? Don’t worry, I promise if your baby is not ready, it would
be more productive to run into a brick wall then to try and push it with your child. All you will run into is resistance, and making it a chore
rather than something new and exciting. Some of you are saying “yeah, but she is 3, shouldn’t she be interested?” I think our generation is much more
gentle with training then generations before. I know it isn’t unusual to hear my friends talk of hanging soiled bed sheets out for neighbors to see,
or being punished for accidents. Shame was frequently part of the process, and happily I think that is truly a thing of the past. So, don’t worry when
your mother or mother in law asks “is she still in diapers?”, I can assure you she won’t be 16 and wearing super jumbo extra large Fuzzi Bunz, just
relax, and go with it. Make it happy, make it cheerful, and celebrate the little steps in the journey.


Night time training

by abbyslanehype

Now, if you thought our advice on day training was very “sit back and see where they go”, nighttime doesn’t get better. For my own children, it is really a matter of waiting until after they are day trained and wake up dry for a good two weeks straight before we try underwear at night.

If your child has been day trained for a few months and still has nighttime wetting, try something to see where they are. Lay a natural fiber inside the diaper, so it provides a wetness cue. It can be a hemp insert, a wipe, a prefold, anything that isn’t stay dry or microfiber. See how your child does, if she wakes up due to the wetness enough to call you and finish urinating on the toilet, you may have a case for a few trainers to provide a different feel than a diaper. If she pees through and doesn’t wake, she will leak out of the trainers, so don’t bother with them yet.

I am not a fan of witholding fluids to encourage nighttime training, especially going into the warmer months, after a hot day of play kids needs to hydrate when they have a chance to settle down at night. The Happy Heiny trainers, which are very diaper-like in feel and absorbency (meaning you can stuff them as much as you need to for older toddlers) can go well into 50+ pounds, so you are covered for nighttime as long as your child needs it. It really is not unusual for us to see emails for children who are 5, 6 and older to need help at night. If you have ruled out any medical conditions that need attention, it is just a matter of those cues and when your child is ready to plug those cues into toilet readiness, and enough bladder control to last all night.

In the ironic twist of life, the reality is they may be helping us with our diapers if we are lucky enough to live so long, so patience is the name of the game here~


Trainers!

by abbyslanehype

We are continuing with potty training. This week we are discussing “trainers” and their purpose. Last week we talked about cues and when to start introducing the concept of using the toilet for your babies and toddlers. Many customers will email me saying “she is three and tells me after she has peed, what trainer can I get to motivate her to get to the toilet?”.

Trainers that we sell are for two purposes:

1. For children who need diaper-like absorbency for nighttime, but have sized out of diapers, or older children with bedwetting habits who want something closer to underwear. They have a stay dry inner material so the child is comfortable, and are made to optimize absorbency with a large stuffing pocket.

2. For children who are right on the cusp of training and just need a wetness cue to stop the stream and finish in the toilet, or for those times when they are trained and you are going to be in the car or plane for several hours and don’t want to miss those first drops on a full bladder.

If your child is not in those two categories, I don’t recommend buying trainers. 95% of our customers have their children train from diapers to underwear. Trainers don’t usually motivate children to train, and as they are as expensive as diapers, it just isn’t a step needed by most children. The test I usually put to customers to see if trainers will help, put underwear on underneath the diaper, so when the child wets he will feel it (this is assuming you use a stay dry diaper). If he pees right through it and is not motivated to finish in the toilet, he is not ready for trainers and just needs more time. If you are using natural fibers, like cotton prefolds or fitteds, and your child is not bothered by the wetness or weight of the diaper, they are probably not ready to train.
You can always try one trainer to see, you will likely find use for it on those first few car trips out of the house with underwear, but try one first before investing in several. See how the child reacts and then go from there.

Kids are funny, one of mine was very excited about trainers, but she was the one who didn’t need them at all, and she trained very quickly. Another daughter was about as excited about trainers as she was brussel sprouts, and took 9 months to go from “mommy, I peed in my diaper” to being day trained, and nighttime was even longer. Now, of course, there are those of you reading this who will disagree with trainers being a motivator, and there will always be those exceptions. For the majority of our customers we find the above to be true to form, so if you still want to try one, just do try one, and see what cues you are returned with.


More on toilet training (tips & tricks)!

by abbyslanehype

Now, consider yourself warned, most of this is going to come from my experience training three kids, working in day care for a number of years,  and chatting it up with customers frequently. I am not a psychologist, and I know everyone has their ideas of appropriate ages and behaviors with training, so what I want to share is for you to take or leave at your liking~
This is going to take a few weeks to go through, but I want to dedicate time to the little guys on their way out of diapers. Whether they are 12 months, 18 months, 2, 3, 4 or 5, they are all on their way out of the diapers we love to put them in. I get lots of emails about “when?!?!?!?” When do you know it is time? This is going to concentrate on children who are not challenged by physical or emotional hindrances, those children need extra time and attention, and while I can help, you may need advice outside of my realm of experience.

I always knew my babies were ready to start when I noticed dryness in the diapers over periods of time. Whether they woke up from naptime dry, or I went to change them around the hour mark and the diaper was not wet at all. Usually this starts at around a year to 18 months. Boys take longer in general, they have much more neurological work that has to occur for them to make the connections for training. You truly can start “training” before this. When they are old enough to walk and start following you everywhere, take them in the bathroom with you when you have to go. By this point it certainly isn’t the oddest thing you have done as a parent (you mean I get to shower all by myself? What a treat! LOL), and it won’t be the last. Make it a cheerful, happy thing. “Oh look, mommy/daddy goes pee pee, yeah!” They will see the bathroom as a cheerful place, a place to celebrate what you are doing. It really sets the mood for later. They also see liquid coming out of you as a good thing, and won’t be freaked out when they see it coming out of them in places they never knew existed before. I mean really, if you looked in the mirror and saw water pouring out of your ear, you would be a little weirded out, no? Cool potty seats are fun, potties with their favorite characters are a plus, but they may not even need this. I found it helps though to have these things in the car.
So, they see you going, they are intrigued, they want to do it. You are going to have thousands of “dry runs” before the real deal starts. A good time to actually put them on the potty? Before bathtime! The sounds of water rushing around always made mine want to go. Just a habit to start, just plop them on while getting the bath ready. If it is too much for them, no biggie, they aren’t ready yet. Even if they just sit there for a second and smile, you are training. Training isn’t the results, it is the process, so make it fun and take a deep breath. Another great time, first thing in the morning. Even if that diaper is full and you know they went all night, make it a part of your morning ritual. When they are sitting on the same place they see you go, and see what is supposed to happen, if they are ready they wil start to follow suit. They don’t like sitting, show no interest in being with you when it goes on? Don’t worry, I promise if your baby is not ready, it would be more productive to run into a brick wall then to try and push it. All you will run into is resistance, and making it a chore rather than something new and exciting. Some of you are saying “yeah, but she is 3, shouldn’t she be interested?” I think our generation is much more gentle with training then generations before. I know it isn’t unusual to hear my friends talk of hanging soiled bed sheets out for neighbors to see, or being punished for accidents. Shame was frequently part of the process, and happily I think that is truly a thing of the past. So, don’t worry when your mother or mother in law asks “is she still in diapers?”, I can assure you she won’t be 16 and wearing extra large Fuzzi Bunz, just relax, and go with it. Make it happy, make it cheerful, and celebrate the little steps in the journey.


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